We all have to deal with those people, who like children are only concerned with getting through this moment. Those people who do everything about 80%, and leave the remaining 20% of the work for you. They don't document, record, prepare, write, research, or plan, they just try to figure out what will get them through this situation.
I'm thinking about those people who won't record things on the data base. The receptionist who thinks dating a message is optional. The accountant who won't learn to use the software and improvises with her own spreadsheets. The sales guy who enters my office without paper or pen. The techie who left a message with a supplier yesterday and blames them for not returning his call. The marketing guy who's new printer box is still in the corner a year later. The chronically late manager who wonders why his people are also always late. The schmuck who parks too close to the door and won't use the employee parking lot. When you ask them for green, they arrive with a pot of yellow and blue and tell you can just mix the two together yourself.
Like kids, they're permanently unprepared, unaware, and puzzled about things that concern others. Ironically they're completely informed, aware and prepared for everything that concerns themselves, especially their wages.
In my May 18th seminar I will teach you you how deal with aspiring jerks, who if left to their own devices, will bloom into mature as*holes. You will learn how to deal with all kinds of disagreeable people at every level. Be there, plan to attend, reserve your seat today.
I know many of you are interested in what I'm reading, here are the books I've covered for the first half of 2011. Some of the material is woven into my seminars. All good books.
1. Bully Free Workplace, by Namie and Namie
2. The No As*hole Rule, by Robert Sutton, PhD.
3. Leadership and self deception, by the Arbinger Institute
4. Management Rewired, by Charles Jacobs.
5. Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell
6. Switch, by Chip and Dan Heath.
7. Irrational Predictability, by Dan Ariely
8. Freakonomics, by Levitt and Dubner
9. Working with you is killing me, by Crowley and Elster
See you for breakfast,
Wolfgang
P.s. Performance Reviews. Download a copy of my 25 page white paper entitled, "It's not about you, it's about what I need." How any manager can do a performance review in ten minutes, using one piece of paper. Click to download your pdf here. / Thank you.
P.s. The "kids" I'm talking about come in all ages.
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
No Altar, No Divorce.
Research says, the number one cause of divorce is marriage.
On your last Jamaican trip, remember the tarot card reader woefully proclaiming “my tchiile, dere’s much cryin’ an tears in your future.”
She knows nothing. The only thing she knows is you are wearing a wedding ring, and she took a shot. Odds are, she’s right. People who wear wedding rings tend to cry a lot more than those who don’t. Noticing rings pays for a beach hut and keeps ‘em coming back.
Back to the Bogota wedding. The naïveté of youth is so charming. Two young people optimistically looking forward to a life together. He takes charge, strong, silent. She adoringly, fawning over him. Pictures, thousands, Colombians love their digital cameras. For every developing nation wedding, Facebook has to install another server. Family, relatives, friends, all in various stages of emotional imbalance.
Then I spotted the little creep. The kid with the ring cushion. He’s the problem. No ring, no divorce, no pain, and the Jamaican tarot card reader story has to have a happy ending. I lunged out of the pew to stop the kid, but my Miss Cartagena 1982 stopped me instead. Foiled, trying to save two lives from despair.
Problems all start at the altar, (or time of hiring). Nobody has marriage problems before marriage. In companies all your troubles start at the selection stage, - the altar. When you say “I do” (want to hire you), you have less than a 20% chance of success. Nobody has employee performance problems before they hire them, only after.
Poor old Larry King. Smart guy who said “I do” seven times and was wrong seven times. Selection. Larry is good at finding candidates he’s just not good at picking the right ones, (selection).
Our clients always sigh in relief when they think they have the right candidate. “We’re in the final hiring stages,” or “we’re in third round interviews.”
Grasshopper, your problems are about to begin. Do the final interviews, go to the altar, say “I do,” hire that person. You will learn the hard way the devil is not in dating, the devil is in marrying. Hell starts after you have them on payroll, not before.
May 18th, my seminar is “Imagine a Workplace with no As*holes.” It’s about recognizing, managing and not letting jerks into your company. Be there, don’t miss it. An amazing view on management.
See you for breakfast
Wolfgang
P.s. What is a third round interview? Interview volume is not connected to interview quality. Interviewing is detective work. You don’t gather information, you gather intelligence. Information is what the candidate tells you. Intelligence is what you have after you connect the dots. Candidates never give you intelligence, you only learn that by yourself. Interview rounds have nothing to do with intelligence gathering.
P.s. The ambitious people we interview don’t seem to need managing. Anything is possible and they’re willing to do it. The people we employ always need management. What happened? Ans: Selection failed.
P.s. You only have one bullet. When you hire, make sure you’re right. You only have one chance to do it right. You only have, “one bullet.” Guarantees, probation, all nonsense. Nobody wants to go through the time and resource consuming process twice. These are emergency options but nothing you should plan on. Do it right. Use your one bullet wisely.
P.s. As much as I rant against marriage, whenever I meet an old couple married for many years, it still tugs at my heart. Some of them are really two lives who have become one and it’s wonderful. They beat the odds. They won. I wish you the best in your relationships. I hope you too beat the odds and your relationship lasts forever!
On your last Jamaican trip, remember the tarot card reader woefully proclaiming “my tchiile, dere’s much cryin’ an tears in your future.”
She knows nothing. The only thing she knows is you are wearing a wedding ring, and she took a shot. Odds are, she’s right. People who wear wedding rings tend to cry a lot more than those who don’t. Noticing rings pays for a beach hut and keeps ‘em coming back.
Back to the Bogota wedding. The naïveté of youth is so charming. Two young people optimistically looking forward to a life together. He takes charge, strong, silent. She adoringly, fawning over him. Pictures, thousands, Colombians love their digital cameras. For every developing nation wedding, Facebook has to install another server. Family, relatives, friends, all in various stages of emotional imbalance.
Then I spotted the little creep. The kid with the ring cushion. He’s the problem. No ring, no divorce, no pain, and the Jamaican tarot card reader story has to have a happy ending. I lunged out of the pew to stop the kid, but my Miss Cartagena 1982 stopped me instead. Foiled, trying to save two lives from despair.
Problems all start at the altar, (or time of hiring). Nobody has marriage problems before marriage. In companies all your troubles start at the selection stage, - the altar. When you say “I do” (want to hire you), you have less than a 20% chance of success. Nobody has employee performance problems before they hire them, only after.
Poor old Larry King. Smart guy who said “I do” seven times and was wrong seven times. Selection. Larry is good at finding candidates he’s just not good at picking the right ones, (selection).
Our clients always sigh in relief when they think they have the right candidate. “We’re in the final hiring stages,” or “we’re in third round interviews.”
Grasshopper, your problems are about to begin. Do the final interviews, go to the altar, say “I do,” hire that person. You will learn the hard way the devil is not in dating, the devil is in marrying. Hell starts after you have them on payroll, not before.
May 18th, my seminar is “Imagine a Workplace with no As*holes.” It’s about recognizing, managing and not letting jerks into your company. Be there, don’t miss it. An amazing view on management.
See you for breakfast
Wolfgang
P.s. What is a third round interview? Interview volume is not connected to interview quality. Interviewing is detective work. You don’t gather information, you gather intelligence. Information is what the candidate tells you. Intelligence is what you have after you connect the dots. Candidates never give you intelligence, you only learn that by yourself. Interview rounds have nothing to do with intelligence gathering.
P.s. The ambitious people we interview don’t seem to need managing. Anything is possible and they’re willing to do it. The people we employ always need management. What happened? Ans: Selection failed.
P.s. You only have one bullet. When you hire, make sure you’re right. You only have one chance to do it right. You only have, “one bullet.” Guarantees, probation, all nonsense. Nobody wants to go through the time and resource consuming process twice. These are emergency options but nothing you should plan on. Do it right. Use your one bullet wisely.
P.s. As much as I rant against marriage, whenever I meet an old couple married for many years, it still tugs at my heart. Some of them are really two lives who have become one and it’s wonderful. They beat the odds. They won. I wish you the best in your relationships. I hope you too beat the odds and your relationship lasts forever!
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