No Altar, No Divorce.

Research says, the number one cause of divorce is marriage.

On your last Jamaican trip, remember the tarot card reader woefully proclaiming “my tchiile, dere’s much cryin’ an tears in your future.”

She knows nothing. The only thing she knows is you are wearing a wedding ring, and she took a shot. Odds are, she’s right. People who wear wedding rings tend to cry a lot more than those who don’t. Noticing rings pays for a beach hut and keeps ‘em coming back.

Back to the Bogota wedding. The naïveté of youth is so charming. Two young people optimistically looking forward to a life together. He takes charge, strong, silent. She adoringly, fawning over him. Pictures, thousands, Colombians love their digital cameras. For every developing nation wedding, Facebook has to install another server. Family, relatives, friends, all in various stages of emotional imbalance.

Then I spotted the little creep. The kid with the ring cushion. He’s the problem. No ring, no divorce, no pain, and the Jamaican tarot card reader story has to have a happy ending. I lunged out of the pew to stop the kid, but my Miss Cartagena 1982 stopped me instead. Foiled, trying to save two lives from despair.

Problems all start at the altar, (or time of hiring). Nobody has marriage problems before marriage. In companies all your troubles start at the selection stage, - the altar. When you say “I do” (want to hire you), you have less than a 20% chance of success. Nobody has employee performance problems before they hire them, only after.

Poor old Larry King. Smart guy who said “I do” seven times and was wrong seven times. Selection. Larry is good at finding candidates he’s just not good at picking the right ones, (selection).

Our clients always sigh in relief when they think they have the right candidate. “We’re in the final hiring stages,” or “we’re in third round interviews.”

Grasshopper, your problems are about to begin. Do the final interviews, go to the altar, say “I do,” hire that person. You will learn the hard way the devil is not in dating, the devil is in marrying. Hell starts after you have them on payroll, not before.

May 18th, my seminar is “Imagine a Workplace with no As*holes.” It’s about recognizing, managing and not letting jerks into your company. Be there, don’t miss it. An amazing view on management.

See you for breakfast
Wolfgang


P.s. What is a third round interview? Interview volume is not connected to interview quality. Interviewing is detective work. You don’t gather information, you gather intelligence. Information is what the candidate tells you. Intelligence is what you have after you connect the dots. Candidates never give you intelligence, you only learn that by yourself. Interview rounds have nothing to do with intelligence gathering.

P.s. The ambitious people we interview don’t seem to need managing. Anything is possible and they’re willing to do it. The people we employ always need management. What happened? Ans: Selection failed.

P.s. You only have one bullet. When you hire, make sure you’re right. You only have one chance to do it right. You only have, “one bullet.” Guarantees, probation, all nonsense. Nobody wants to go through the time and resource consuming process twice. These are emergency options but nothing you should plan on. Do it right. Use your one bullet wisely.

P.s. As much as I rant against marriage, whenever I meet an old couple married for many years, it still tugs at my heart. Some of them are really two lives who have become one and it’s wonderful. They beat the odds. They won. I wish you the best in your relationships. I hope you too beat the odds and your relationship lasts forever!